Last night Mer told me that I would be the beneficiary of everything she owns should she die. Mom was her first choice but she was too busy vacationing in Florida to get back to Mer with her SSN.

When Mer told mom that I’d been chosen instead, my mom told her that I couldn’t be counted on to fulfill Mer’s final wishes. Hey! Screw you! Who am I to dismiss my dead sister’s wishes? I may be a lot of things but disrespectful of the dead is not one of them.

PS, MOM, I have 10s of thousands of dollars in assets. I don’t need Mer’s fuckin’ chump change or Ford Focus (no offense, Mer—it’s for effect).