LISSA

October also means house guests!

Guess who’s coming to stay with me this month?! Meeeees Mosstersss Andy Andy’s...

Oct 2nd

Trials and tribulations of a 24 year old

I spent way too much this weekend at Forever 21 on a trashy dress (do they sell any other kind?). It...

Oct 1st

Yes, October! I bought the cutest Halloween tissues at...

Oct 1st

Where the hell

can I find a Brussels that looks like this?!

Oct 1st

Listen

delbertshoopman: Tracy Jordan: Werewolf Bar Mitzvah It’s boys becoming men, men becoming...

Oct 1st

Heaven?

Andy called me last night to tell me that this bar he was at served a basket of bacon with their...

Oct 1st

“Waves hit Tonga, six dead”
— Man, I hope Jonah Takalua is...

Oct 1st

Juliet and the Fun Emails

A coworker of mine decided that she would only send emails if the subject could be made to sound...

Oct 1st

Jacquie SWEARS she doesn’t know Fluff.

Oct 1st

“i want to be able to write/post about millie without feeling...”
— Nic’s predicaments.

Oct 1st

AHH!

tiffany: This is in the bathroom right now. Why does our bathroom attract scary creatures? ...

Sep 30th

Halfway there!

I signed up for Southwest’s frequent flyer program yesterday. They let me “redeem...

Sep 30th

My wonderful aunt gives me faith that even at 60 I...

Sep 30th

No shit.

Sep 30th

My Marshallese flower collection!

Sep 30th

Fred Durst splits from wife after 3 months!

Sep 30th

Mer and i video gchatted so she could show me sign language...

Sep 29th

“Are you the b that tried to fuck my baby’s daddy?”

Sep 29th

Columbus Day

philoconn: just found out that I have off from work for this little gem helllllllo Ocracoke...

Sep 29th

They played my fav dandy warhols song AND bloodhound gang while waiting for pink to go on!!

Sep 29th

Daily Dottie.

Sep 28th

Get with it

When will phone message books add a “will email” box? Maybe get rid of the...

Sep 28th

way to choose which parts of your life...

can i tell you how frustrated it makes me that my mom still interjects when my sister calls to...

Sep 28th

Who has time to send texts this long?!

Me: I see you called. I'm in Chicago. What's up?
Cousin: so cool! and random. probably not the best time for small talk. want to talk on the phone tomorrow?
Me: Is everything cool?
Cousin: everythings ok except i have a strange and frustrating creative problem...wanna hear?
Me: Text away [I was sitting in an rv waiting for Andy to finish loading the trailer...figured i could use the entertainment!]
Cousin: the movie Zombieland is my problem at the moment. Amber Heard, the actress i want to play my heroine is playing a fucking zombie in this. a zombie! i want her playing a superhero princess but shes playing a zombie instead and it makes me pissed and want my story made even more. i am really pushing myself on writing now and i need results. my starlet being in Zombieland is the worst idea in the history of everything.
Me: I dont know. your movie [HA HA!] would give her an opportunity to show her range and talent.
Cousin: i agree with you. its just this zombie movie has been such a creative killjoy. if someone uglied up Edward Cullen your sister would be pissed! so its like that. now i need Amber to be in my movie in order to get this massively bitter taste out of my mouth. shes the one i want but Zombieland feels like someones taking a piss on my masterpiece.

Sep 27th

“I was basically obsessed with Paul Revere in elementary...”
— Amy

Sep 27th

Not a sermon, just a thought.

McLean bible church traffic is fucking criminal.

Sep 27th

Watch

jonahray: DISMEMBERMENT PLAN - The Ice of Boston “Gladys i love you but-OH get a life!” Mer,...

Sep 27th

Being a small, cute girl makes finding a seat on southwest flights so easy!

Sep 25th

Work function etiquette

In college, I took a class called “Business and Professional Presentations.” Towards the...

Sep 25th

Nothing like lookin 40 years old on a...

YES. Received the latest Better Homes and Gardens just in time for my flight tomorrow!

Sep 25th

waitlisted?!

eh, i’ll take it.

Sep 24th

Negligent

I had two plants at my desk. One was a spider plant (speaking of spiders, I killed a neon green one...

Sep 24th

I have to look nice without looking...

Last night Andy casually mentioned that his mom will also be at tomorrow’s concert. And I will...

Sep 24th

Rumor

There’s a chance I might possibly get to go to Greece next year for a week for work. I would...

Sep 23rd

How is this guy in charge of anything that isn’t the...

Sep 23rd

megbeme: this is the ceo of ambercrombie… “We hire...

Sep 23rd

Last minute trip!

I have almost 10 hours of overtime for my next paycheck. Not to mention some-$50 for miles traveled....

Sep 23rd

bullshit.

My sister telling me I have to watch her dogs next weekend because their allergies are keeping them...

Sep 23rd

myhuckleberryfriend: hotg0ssip: (via yourdealer) ...

Sep 23rd

Total Overkill

For what feels like an eternity, but is more realistically a month, work has been sending out emails...

Sep 23rd

How tempting!

Lame guy: Ladies. We just ordered some chicken fingers and if you want some
Sarah: We can order some for ourselves?
LG: No, the kitchen just closed. But we have some. And all you have to do to get them is come over and introduce yourselves.

Sep 20th

Yes, I would loooove this necklace. No, not for $650.

Sep 19th

How original

Why is it that whenever I wear shoes that are any color other than black, or even the slightest bit...

Sep 19th

Phil

Have a great flight tomorrow and an even better weekend!

Sep 17th

myhuckleberryfriend: I applied for this apartment. ...

Sep 17th

Cutie.

I was on the phone with Andy waaaay late last night. He didn’t respond to something I said so...

Sep 17th

This was the first and last thing I ever...

Sep 17th

How the hell am I supposed to watch all...

Fringe Housewives Atlanta The Office (meh) Community It’s Always Sunny Ugh!!

Sep 17th

supersonicelectronic: Mercedes G-Wagon. WANT! dream car....

Sep 17th

Nipper! How have I lived without you for three whole years?!

Sep 16th

Everyday after lunch I take over the bathroom at work to...

Sep 16th

“Then I had to go BACK to Wal-Mart to return something...”
— Of course you did. Of course...

Sep 16th

Craving

A blooming onion.

Sep 16th

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Not to be selfish because I’m so totally proud of you, Nic, but, but, don’t leave me!!!...

Sep 16th

awkward

My boss invited me to a dinner our company is having at a crab house in Maryland. I told her that...

Sep 15th

“No, it’s never too many crystals.”
— Rachel Zoe, duh.

Sep 15th

Oh, Europe

I had to pick up my company’s three Greek visitors from the mall. They had two suitcases and a...

Sep 15th

Sean.

Sep 15th

Foul Loser

I do not get mad when I lose to Andy in Scrabble. Either I really like him or I’ve matured....

Sep 14th

CON-FREAKIN'-GRATS!!!

Nic got the job he interviewed for last Friday!!!! This is Nic’s dream job. He applied for it...

Sep 14th

I want the kind of job

philoconn: where the first thing out of my mid-50s, female, manager’s mouth is about Kanye West...

Sep 14th

Today, my Invisalign feels like I have...

Thank goodness I can take it out.

Sep 14th

Tonight I played Scrabble with Andy on facebook. Words like...

Sep 14th

eyeonspringfield: “Stop it! He’s already dead!” YES

Sep 14th

Hilarie Burton's production company supports...

Sep 13th

Watch

Everything She Wants - Wham! The quality isn’t the best but I can’t embed the OFFICIAL...

Sep 13th

Big Day

I’ve done a lot today. I finally bought my twin her wedding present - $122 worth of tile for...

Sep 12th

iChat Status

Sometimes I set it to “what I’m listening to.” Until I realize it’s my...

Sep 12th

last night i dreamt that all of my wildest dreams came true.

Sep 12th

this one is Jhair (my gay BFF)

myhuckleberryfriend: powergay: Referring to a young, elegant gay man of affected sensibilities,...

Sep 12th

You know, I’m actually one of the few people who does not remember where they were on 9/11.

Sep 11th

I can’t believe I have to work on Patriot Day.

Sep 11th

It's amazing how much of a difference a...

:)

Sep 11th

Not weed

My cousin called me last night to tell me that he got his medicinal marijuana license. He then...

Sep 11th

Rain!

kimboslice: I’m actually excited that it’s supposed to be cool and rainy tomorrow because I have a...

Sep 11th

Good luck tomorrow, Nic!

Praying that all goes well! Not as inspiring as the prayer you shared with me the other day. But...

Sep 10th

I forget that my BFF is hot sometimes.

myhuckleberryfriend: Garrett Hols “Nasty? Really? This wouldn’t by any chance have to do with me...

Sep 10th

megbeme: lushvuitton:(via toobrokeforcable) this make me...

Sep 10th

Monsters

Me: He looks like a monster.
Ashley: Wait. I'm scared. He looks like a montster??
Me: Yeah. He's, like, huge.
Ashley: Ok. So, he's like Shrek?
Me: Um, yeah. Big like Shrek. If Shrek had lots of hair.
Ashley: So he's like Alf?

Sep 10th

bethlehems: (via heylabodega) This is one of my favorite...

Sep 10th

I’m in a LDR. To keep things fresh I send the bf hot...

Sep 9th

Would it be weird to keep a pair of nail...

Not to cut my nails. I get hang nails and peeling skin around my nails. And I pick at it because...

Sep 9th

“She died from some sort of cancer, I don’t know, to...”
— She never quits, y’all.

Sep 9th

a convo between my brother in law and me.

Sep 9th

Michael and Michael Have Issues LIVE

pantsblog: Oct 28 Sixth & I Synagogue, Washington, DC Mer, tryin to go?

Sep 9th

I can afford to work out.

I just joined a gym! For $10 a month!

Sep 8th

Tax crises resolved

I called my county today to see what my “other delinquent taxes due” were on my personal...

Sep 8th

When did my dad get so OLD?!

My dad called to have me tell him how to work a digital camera. Shit like that is imPOSSible over...

Sep 7th

Taking advice from a fake...

On Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide, Ned once told me how to deal with Mondays. One of...

Sep 7th

My cousins are brats.

They were at my house and ran around the house the whole time, running into each other, all over my...

Sep 7th

(via sabino) this looks creepishly similar to the building...

Sep 7th

Listen

tesslynch: mabelmoments: Lionel Ritchie - Hello always.

Sep 7th

Andy was on the phone with me while he was deciding what...

Sep 7th

(via fuckyeahschneidersbakery)

Sep 7th

She's a big girl. REALLY big girl.

Megan: When we go to Vegas we have to see Criss Angel!
Hilary: Oh my gosh did you watch his show this week?!
Megan: The levitating one?! Yes! I swear I really levitated. I felt Nikki [dog] licking the bottom of my toes!
Hilary: Are you serious?! It didn't work for me!
Megan: (to me) Yeah, there's probably a weight limit on levitating.

Sep 7th

(via ventisette) See, 5 per session.

Sep 6th

Watch

amystardust: i love this commercial The otter kills me!

Sep 6th

I told my dad today how my sisters and I bought school supplies for kids who can’t afford...

Sep 6th

somethingintellectual: Everything about this dog. No words. ...

Sep 6th

(via annicka)

Sep 6th

Beyond Belief

I just saw that Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction is on tv! I really, REALLY wanna watch it. But I also...

Sep 6th

i may leave tumblr

if i see one more damn “everything was beautiful and nothing hurt” fraekin’ post.

Sep 6th

Tick tick tick tick fight

Me: There was this guy on Tumblr who formspringed and someone asked what his fav Beyonce song was. His answer was "'Bonnie and Clyde '03' or 'Crazy In Love.'" Like, just say you're not really gay. Those are easily the worst Bey songs ever. Ever.
Nic: Right! I mean, it even has "'03" in the title. The ONLY answer is "Get Me Bodied."

Sep 6th

“He had a shirt with hands pointing up that said ‘this...”
— Megan is pretty funny.

Sep 5th

Thief

I went to the movies yesterday with Rachel. She bought her ticket from the box office (? i’ve...

Sep 5th

Rock and roll!

Thanks to Forever 21, I can buy that Nirvana shirt I alwayssss wanted! AND it comes feeling like I...

Sep 5th

Clyde's-ed out

I got two postcards in the mail today inviting me to events. Both are at Clyde’s. There are...

Sep 4th

Nic and I saw a girl wearing this exact outfit today while...

Sep 4th

Classy

Nick: What are you watching?
Me: Real Housewives of ATL
Nick: im just going to assume that they are all behaving civil. so are they playing chess or doing long division? it's typically one or the other

Sep 4th

I’ll have you know, Phil…

Sep 4th

bestiesonice: Cruz Beckham: favorite kid ever. Totally.

Sep 4th

You know what I don't need?

The word fondle. Ever.

Sep 3rd

I have wanted the Sperry rain boots on the left for FOREVER....

Sep 3rd

GPOYAYBW! Andy last minute surprise visited me this week :)

Sep 3rd

Stress-induced headache

Feels half like I just chugged a slurpie, half like I imagine a stroke would feel.

Sep 2nd

Photo Quiz? Scavenger Hunt?

What, is my company hosting events for 5 year olds now?

Sep 2nd

Whatever, I've never had a nice...

Andy started making dinner for tonight while I’m at work!

Sep 1st